The Company
by Sarimia
Summary: This is... a different kind of Mary Sue.:. The Mary Sues begin to get a little... tired of all this perfection. And Ed's screaming fangirls outside are giving Mary Ann a headache.


Edward Elric had crossed the Gate.

Yes, again.

But now, he wondered where exactly he was. Wasn't he supposed to be headed to Amestris? So then why was he in a warehouse? It was stuffy, made completely of metal. A different kind of model than the ones back in Central…

The door burst open, and three girls, teenagers, entered, followed by about five or so buff men.

"What the hell?" Ed asked no one as the girls approached annoyed looks on their faces.

"Edward Elric, you're to be taken into custody by the M.A.R.Y. group, under the violation of transferring into the real world. Anything you say can and will be used against you. You have the right to remain silent, the right to…" The first girl, with long curly hair, began reading out his rights as the other two pulled his arms behind his back and cuffed him. He struggled, but for some reason couldn't get free.

"Wait, who the hell are you?" Edward nearly shouted in the confusion.

"I'm MaryAnn," The first answered immediately in a very businesslike manner (that reminded him of Hawkeye), cutting of the rights reading. She then pointed to the girl on his right, who had long black hair and was immensely beautiful, and rather solemn. "That's Mary Sue." Next was the last girl, short and cute in a mischievous way, with cropped brown hair. She grinned at him as she was introduced. "And Mary Lynn."

She then continued with reading the rights.

Ed was hauled out of the stuffy warehouse, the sun nearly blinding him as it touched his face. The buff men took over then, two grabbing hold of his arms and shoving him into the back seat of a car. They blindfolded him as the girls climbed into the car, and he didn't get any answers until the car stopped moving, and they took the blindfold off.

"Brace yourself," Mary Lynn whispered, her eyes suddenly sparkling in amusement.

This was always her favourite part.

Ed noticed a white noise from outside the vehicle, and didn't have to wonder what it was when one of the men opened the car door from the outside, and the screaming became apparent.

Fangirls, as they were commonly known as, were lined up along a small path, held back by even more men, all dressed in black, looking incredibly serious. There weren't only fangirls, though, there were a few guys in the crowd, and the Fullmetal Alchemist was clearly disturbed. There was a bell-like laugh behind him, probably from one of the Mary girls.

The building that towered above looked a lot like a court house, all marble and stone. Engraved above the massive entrance were MARY&GARY Co. Ed gaped.

He was brought inside, past security and secretary desks, into a small office. A law office, maybe?

"What's going on?!" Ed questioned, for about the 8th time.

"Welcome to MARY&GARY Co. law offices. In this world, we not only enforce the law, we ARE the law." Mary Sue said, sitting down behind the massive desk. Pressure in the shape of a hand on his left shoulder told him to sit down across from her, and MaryAnn and Mary Lynn took seats on either side of Mary Sue.

Mary Lynn pulled out a notepad. "You've broken CharaCode 32, and entered reality. Mildly resisted the M.A.R.Y. group arrest, too."

"CharaCode?"

"Short for Character Code, of course." Mary Lynn responded.

"What is this place?"

"…This is a law office." MaryAnn answered. Hadn't they mentioned that already?

"Alright, I get that, what do you DO?"

"…Enforce the law."

"Isn't a law office supposed to have lawyers?"

"Not this one. Here, we make sure that Characters know their place."

"So… I'm a… Character?" He was finally catching on! Rejoice!

"Yes. An Anime Character from the show Fullmetal Alchemist." Mary Sue answered, clearly impatient. "Now back to business--,"

"Hold up! I have a _show_!?"

Mary Sue sighed. Ed shut his mouth; if this was a law office, like they said, than this girl could increase the damage he had apparently done.

"MARY&GARY Co. was formed to protect fans and Characters alike. Too many houses and other public properties get destroyed when you people come visiting by 'accident', and so the Mary's of Reality have banded together to keep it from happening too often. Because it happens WAY too often." MaryAnn told him, answering a few scattered questions in Ed's mind.

"Henceforth, since we got to you first, there are no vandalism charges, 'cause nothing was destroyed." Mary Lynn continued.

Mary Sue finished the statement with, "If you go home now, and not return, you should be safe enough, and you won't have to pay anything."

"But how long will it take for me to do that? As much as I want to get home, I don't have the data from before, anyways."

"If you remain here," Mary Sue's beautiful voice got dangerous, "Damages will be up in the thousands of dollars. We would have to keep you locked below ground. The Gary's will have to double the guard if the fangirls and Rangers find out that we have a Character being held here, and we'll have to--,"

"In other words," Mary Lynn's tone softened the atmosphere that Mary Sue had created. "We can get you home A.S.A.P."

Ed nodded uncertainly, and MaryAnn stood up suddenly.

"So Sue and I'll prepare the machine. Lynn, take him to the waiting room. We'll be there in a few."

Following Mary Lynn, the hyper girl led him down a corridor and into a brightly lit room with a large TV and a few board games. The TV was on a news station, and he and Lynn sat down to watch on a large fluffy couch. Air conditioning ruffled his hair as the newscaster spoke.

"The MARY&GARY Company continue their protest against the Budding Authors, demanding that they stop with the perfection of Original Characters, and that the situations they are placed in will have at least some challenge, and hopefully a plot. 'Maybe a few more original story lines, too,' says their leader, Mary Sue, whose history reports over 5000 stories she was placed in, a rare 4 or 5 with an actual plot, and a third of the Authors who had written them that actually used spell check. Now, let's go to Randy, our field reporter." The camera changed to a group of screaming, perfect-looking people in front of a building, holding up signs with puns and slogans strewn across them. An Asian man began speaking as Ed turned to the girl beside him.

"Is THAT what you do here?"

"Nah, Mary Sue just got bored one day and formed the Protesting Committee. It's kind of like a game." The pixie-like child swung her legs for a few seconds before the door opened, and the two missing Mary's entered, taking Ed down another few corridors, down some steps, and into the basement.

"Hey, I thought you said you weren't going to lock me up?!" Ed said.

"We're not. We're getting you home."

A last door opened to a wide, empty room. Ed walked in, pushed by the three girls. His foot hit something that rolled across the ground—a piece of chalk? His eyes followed lines and patterns that had been drawn on the floor, recognizing it as the circle to call the Gate… a few components were missing, though, and a few different ones added in.

"The circle isn't complete," Ed remarked upon noticing this.

"No, its fine, we tuned it so we wouldn't have to sacrifice anything, and so that your brother will be all in one piece when you get back." Edward stared at the three in amazement. The light coming from the doorway behind them made them look like angels from heaven… not that he was religious or anything.

"How… wait, why? I thought you just wanted to get rid of me, not fix my life!"

"Edward, I'm Mary Sue." Mary Sue said. "They're Mary Sue. Our names are all the same; we are the perfect person, the character everyone wants to be. Those two are simply called different names for a bit of variety. It's my turn to be called Mary Sue this week."

"So in that respect, it is our job to help out the Character before sending them home. It used to be that we had to fall in love, but that wore off after a bit… Well, that was how we were written, and so mote it be."

With those last words (that sounded a little Pagan-ish) Mary Lynn knelt on the ground, the other two beside her. All three placed their hands on the circle at the same time, Alchemical Energy surging up and into Edward's body.

"Thanks," Ed told them as he dissolved into the Gate.

Once he was gone, the Marys stood up. "Finally, another one gone." MaryAnn sighed, relaxing her shoulders.

"I wanna be Sue next week," Mary Lynn said as they started up the stairs.

"Then I want to be Mary Belle. We haven't been Belle yet." Mary Sue proclaimed.


End file.
